Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
