Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
