I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
