What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
