we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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