I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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