My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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