is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
