So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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