Only a mothe r could love this liver
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
