Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
