Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
