I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
