They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
