I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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