Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
