Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
