Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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