idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
