Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
