it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
