Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
