then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
