Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
