Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
