Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
