Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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