why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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