I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry about my life...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
