i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
