I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
