went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she looked like the before picture.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
