its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
