I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
