would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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