I skipped work to stalk him.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You're like the curious george of whores
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
