Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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