They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
