Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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