It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
