It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just want to make out with him forever
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
