Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
