I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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