i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
