I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
