I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
