Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
