I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
