My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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