Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
