the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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