with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
