I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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