I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
