I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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