There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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