I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
