Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
